- Do people mistake your kindness for weakness?
- Do you invest a lot into your relationships but get little in return?
- Do you feel like you're constantly trying to prove yourself?
- Do you feel underpaid and undervalued at work?
If you don't demand a certain price for your love, talent, or attention, you'll always find some bargain shopper who will offer or invest as little as possible in you, but drain every ounce of energy out of you. And while you're left feeling depleted, used, and taken advantage of, they got exactly what they wanted out of your relationship. It doesn't even matter that deep down inside you knew you were worthy of more or deserved more, because you let them haggle down your price and ended up in the red. Good GAWD, how many times have I had to learn this lesson; that you are in charge of setting your own terms for any type of energy exchange with friends, family, lovers, bosses, colleagues etc. And the reason this has been a repeat lesson in my life is because it took me forever to recognize that fine line between "knowing" your worth and "respecting" it.
I've compromised my integrity for good looks, great convo and irresistible chemistry. I've accepted no commitment and vague intentions, letting people run up emotional tabs that were never paid off. But that's what happens when you're a sucker for love. You know you want and deserve more but you settle for the imitation stuff anyway. I think it's a symptom of fear. Fear also makes me grab at the first available career opportunity or gig even if the pay isn't commensurate with my skill level or experience. And "fear" makes me stick around even if the work environment is toxic. But to take away the sting of feeling undervalued and disrespected, I justify it with "gratitude". After all, shouldn't I be grateful that I get to do what love? Besides fear, my other greatest foe is my blind attraction to potential. Y'know, that uncanny ability to see past all the red flags and see someone's perfection. But I've finally figured out that people will, in fact, manipulate you, betray you, and take advantage of you if you let them; that is, if you don't respect your own worth. Respecting your worth gives you the power to say "no" and trust that you will receive exactly what you want and deserve.
So now I'm creating clear boundaries in all areas of my life because nothing eats away at my soul more than feeling undervalued. But I can already feel that my next lesson will be about learning to trust rather than desperately trying to manipulate outcomes.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
Out of respect for my worth, I'm letting go of __________.
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
Even though you know your worth, what patterns do you see in your life where you consistently compromise your integrity?