- Are you stuck in an emotional funk?
- Does the Universe keep trying to teach you the same lesson?
- Do you feel like you're always the victim in your relationships?
- Does your ego get in the way of admitting your mistakes?
It's so easy to spiral into victim mode or play the blame game when life turns into an emotional s**t storm. Because, if our issues are never our fault, we don't have to put forth any effort to change. Instead, the world around us needs to evolve to match our needs. And if we stick to our victim story, it absolves us of any accountability for our actions, even if the facts show that we're the one making poor choices that plunge us into despair. Victimhood is also a convenient justification for hurting, disrespecting, betraying, shaming, or lying to others. Besides, admitting we can be selfish and s**tty to others defies the version of ourselves we want to believe in. No one wants to be "that" person. But we're imperfect! We've gotta own our s**t and let our weaknesses, character flaws, and communication failures be teaching tools to build self-awareness, practice accountability, and exercise compassion. Because if we can't do that for ourselves, how can we possibly do that in our relationships with others?
Here's the thing: Our values, attitudes, and deeply held beliefs are shaped by our upbringing, environment, personal experiences, and the inherent nature of our character. They become the template against which we create our lives and build our relationships as much as they can become the triggers for conflict. But, even in the midst of conflict, if we can recognize that our version of the story is largely a result of circumstance and choice, it challenges us to examine ourselves objectively and figure out why we might be insecure, emotionally guarded, judgmental, angry, defensive, confrontational, dishonest etc. We're not afraid to own our s**t because we know we're flawed but have the power to evolve into better versions of ourselves without losing integrity. And owning our s**t doesn't mean we have to beat ourselves up when we mess up, either. We can exercise self-compassion and make the conscious effort to change. And if we've hurt someone, our ego never gets in the way of an apology.
To maintain healthy relationships we've got to keep ourselves in check; recognizing how our energy effects the people we love, and striving to treat them the way we dream of being treated.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
The s**t about myself that I hate to admit and am afraid to own is __________.
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
Can you sense when your energy or actions are hurting someone, even if they don't mention it? Do you own your s**t even if they don't speak up, or do you feel it's their responsibility to bring it up?