- Do major life changes or losses make you feel lonelier than ever?
- Does asking for support make you feel weak & needy?
- Does accepting support make you feel like a burden?
- Are you harboring your need for unconditional love, compassion, and support?
It seems like the older I get, life becomes awash with big changes and losses that challenge my self-worth, my ability to trust, and my capacity to believe in possibility. It becomes easier to retreat, ruminate, and avoid contact with the people closest to me, my tribe. Even though part of me wants them to know when I'm hurting; to verbalize my pain, my doubts, or my fears feels so vulnerable and weak. My soul craves compassion, but my ego doesn't want to be perceived as needy or incapable of handling the ebb and flow of life. And as much as I want and need my tribe's support, it's hard for me to receive it without feeling like a burden, especially knowing they're simultaneously trying to manage their own waves of change and loss.
It seems easier to pretend that I'm managing my messy emotions with aplomb, that I have perfect solutions to all of my problems, and that I simply float through life with confidence, grace, and a smile. And now that I live away from my tribe on a remote island in the Caribbean, it seems even easier to hide behind the facade of social media where partial truths and curated photos fill my timeline and newsfeed. Easier, that is, until I stop dodging the real talk, penetrating questions and listening ears of friends who aren't afraid of my mess, my poor choices, or my strained smile. Pure vulnerability, feeling heard, and receiving unconditional support makes my spirit feel absolutely buoyant. It's like I can see into the vastness of life and its changing tides with far less fear and self-doubt knowing I'm not alone.
It's in those moments when I let my whole self be seen, heard and supported that I recognize vulnerability as a sign of strength and trust. Major life change and loss forces us to feel our humanity, develop compassion, and experience the power of interconnection. And even though I believe in trusting my own inner-wisdom, I know that my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings often remain convoluted when not expressed or tempered with outside perspectives; especially when overwhelmed with change or loss. And right now, my inner-wisdom is reminding me that my friends want me to flourish. My tribe loves me unconditionally and will support me through my losses and failures as much as they'll celebrate my mini-victories and huge successes.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
It's hard for me to ask for support because __________.
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
When you're going through a difficult life change or painful loss, what kind of support do you need from friends and family?