- Are you immobilized with heartbreak?
- Are you paralyzed with fear?
- Have you convinced yourself you're happy when you're not?
- Are you merely surviving versus thriving?
Sometimes, painful life experiences force you to surrender to the chaos of your emotions and pause. I know I certainly had to put my own life on pause post-divorce. My initial reaction to heartbreak, however, was to live my life at warped speed in order to distract myself from the depth of my pain. But I was left emotionally exhausted and physically depleted. It was a major "Aha!" moment for me to finally admit that I was merely existing versus living. Deep down inside I knew I wanted so much more out of life. I knew I needed to slow down enough to adjust to the fact that I was thirty-eight years old, newly single and rebuilding my life mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially -- alone. I needed to feel the deep ache in my heart and the anxiety in my gut. I needed to honor my feelings of rejection and failure plus my sense of loss, sadness and anger. I needed to explore my emotions, tap into my intuition for guidance, and make choices that reflected what I wanted to create next in my life. Because I realized that when you try to "push past" painful life changes without inner-awareness, self-compassion or clarity, life becomes a series of desperate and impulsive choices that don't reflect what you truly want, need and desire in life or love. And then, life becomes a series of more painful lessons that could've otherwise been avoided.
So, YES, I'm a firm believer in the "PAUSE". But I also believe that if you allow yourself to forever wallow in the darkness of your emotions, you stagnate in anger, bitterness and self-loathing. You stop seeing your own potential or life's possibilities. You convince yourself that your current reality is your always and forever.
UN-PAUSING my life was a conscious choice I made to not let the rejection, loneliness and stigma of divorce decimate my spirit or ruin my life. Even in the midst of heartbreak, I un-paused my life for:
- writing and honest self-examination
- getting out of victim mode & re-discovering who I was and what I wanted out of life & love
- learning to believe I deserved those things
- using my power of choice in ways that supported my new life vision
Un-pausing my life meant taking action in my life; even if it felt half-hearted in the moment. I knew that by taking even the smallest of steps towards my new life vision as a single woman in her late thirties, at the very least I was moving forward. Un-pausing my life made me feel empowered. I started to trust my choices again and let go of all the things that burdened my heart.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
I am un-pausing my life in order to:
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
What are you doing (or intend to do) to un-pause your life?