- Are you suffering from single-itis?
- Does chronic singlehood make you doubt your lovability?
- Are you stuck in meaningless relationships just to fill the void?
- Are you waiting for someone to "complete" you?
FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm sweatin' my single status! Yep, I've got a case of single-itis right now thanks to an unsuspecting trigger. Independence Day, of all holidays! Not the typical holiday for conjuring up thoughts of love, romance and desire; until you find yourself celebrating the Fourth of July at a barbecue, on a private resort island in the British West Indies, amongst a population of three hundred. And as you stand alone by the crackling bonfire, you realize just how lonely you are. And that you foresee no sex or intimacy whatsoever for at least another fifteen months when your contract ends. And that, in the past nine months, you haven't even flirted or even batted an eyelash at anyone. And you're not even harboring a juicy secret crush. You don't even remember what those kinda butterflies feel like anymore. Meanwhile, your age hovers over you as a constant reminder that your desirability level is probably fading.
Nope, there were no fireworks; literally or figuratively. There I was, celebrating America's independence to the sound of calypso music and the scent of roasted pig while dreaming of cocktails on a Brooklyn rooftop, fireworks over the river, and Daniel Sunjata (my new celebrity crush) eyeing me from the bar. The night ended with me spooning my dog in my twin bed, while scrolling through facebook photos of happy couples wondering "When will that be me?"
But that worrier - the one who fears she'll be single forever is my ego, Kira; the one wounded by divorce, trust issues and the fear that I'm just not good enough. My higher self aka "Indie Girl Keex" knows better. She trusts the timing of her life. And in the meantime, she's focused on living full the f**k out! Her life isn't structured around finding a man, attracting a man or becoming more desirable for a man, even though she wants a man in her life. She's a self-possessed woman who creates her life from a place of clear vision, passion, fearless vulnerability, creativity and a sense of adventure. She is not afraid of her power. Her life is balanced with healthy pragmatism and delicious pleasure. She's an open and honest communicator because she values depth and intimacy in her relationships. She loves herself, respects herself, and honors her boundaries. She doesn't compromise who she is, who she wants to become or the positive legacy she wants to leave just for the sake of being in a relationship. Keex knows that, when the timing is right, she'll attract someone who is a reflection of her and they'll be drawn to one another as "soul equals". And that's when the fireworks will happen.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
Even through single-itis, my higher self knows:
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
What rumors is your ego spreading about your love life?