- Does life keep throwing you curveballs & you can't seem to catch a break?
- Does everyone else's life seem perfect while yours is in a constant state of suck?
- Are you chronically single & stuck in a single-itis funk?
- Does your gratitude list seem ridiculously short?
Whenever I'm smack dab in the middle of a single-itis funk, all comfy cozy in my loveless space of victimhood, and those feelings become compounded with a work crisis, and the ground is crumbling beneath my feet; my number one pet peeve is a well-intended "Count your blessings!" Grrr... I generally respond with a polite smile while simultaneously shouting expletives in my head. Because my feeling is this: As long as I don't dwell in or over-identify with my pain, I have every right to feel it. After all, part of the human experience is frustration, fear, sadness, disappointment, anger, loneliness etc. And to move past those feelings, I sometimes just need to express them aloud without being told I'm ungrateful. So I tend to gravitate toward friends who have enough compassion and understanding to hold space for me in those moments. Because, although I'm fully aware that my situation is temporary, I'm feeling raw and vulnerable in the moment.
On the other hand, I know that if I'm spending a disproportionate amount of time in a funk and that my emotions are sending me on a never-ending odyssey into a dark abyss, it's definitely time for me to turn inward rather than becoming a total energy suck to those I love. It's time to reflect on all the things that are good and right in my life in order to create a more positive mindset. But that's the hard part. Because once I'm resigned to a state of complete misery, it seems as if nothing has ever been good or right in my life, and as if I'm sifting through s**t for pointless remnants of gratitude. So my attempt at gratitude sounds like this at first: "I'm so pissed that it rained today. But... I'm so happy I remembered to bring my umbrella so my overpriced blowout didn't seize up into an afro. Go me!". Or, "That workout totally sucked. How do I dare call myself a fitness professional? But... I did work out for thirty minutes! Go me!" Yep, even my gratitude is peppered with negativity. But eventually, the levity of positivity feels so much better than the burden of negativity that my mindset starts to change. I start to celebrate awesome moments as they happen; even the tiny things that previously seemed insignificant to me like a simple smile from a stranger, an e-mail from a hottie on OkCupid who actually read my profile, or a great conversation with a friend.
Age and life experience has taught me that it's impossible to fill emptiness with negativity. It's a void that can be filled with lots of positive thoughts and tons of gratitude.
Indie Girl Diary: writing prompt
I am grateful for __________.
Indie Girl-Talk: let's chat!
What rituals do you practice to maintain your sense of gratitude?