- What negative core beliefs are blocking you from the love that you want?
- What triggers those negative core beliefs?
- When's the last time you were completely vulnerable & unconcerned about the outcome?
- What relationship pattern do you keep repeating because your ego gets in the way?
The biggest thing that holds me back from having the love that I want is my ego. Damn her for always reminding me I'll never be lovable enough, good enough, or worthy enough of a relationship where love, passion, open and honest communication, deep physical and emotional intimacy, and respect are mutually valued. And damn me for believing her whenever I get the nudge to do something bold; like be radically vulnerable and open to the possibility of love before interrupting it with doubt, judgment, or negativity. Or bold enough to leave a relationship when I've been open about my needs but they aren't being met. At some point I'm gonna have to detach myself from the expectation of pain associated with love relationships and just let the real thing in! I mean, good gawd, I've done tons of work to change my self-perception and bolster my self-worth but she -my ego- still lingers in the background whispering bitter nothings in my ear.
How do I know my ego is getting in the way of my love life? Let's put it this way: When you desire a life partnership but "know" it'll end in rejection and/or betrayal because "all of my relationships do", that's ego blocking vulnerability. It's an excuse to hide behind victimhood, past pain, fear, and resentment where it's safe. It's the reason for choosing to pursue and stay in a two-year relationship with someone who is decidedly non-committal. Yeah, I did that. And in the process, it validated my core beliefs that I am not " __________ enough".
But I'm so good at learning the lessons in hindsight! I get it now. You can do all the self-work in the world, become super self-aware, and self-loving; but if you never risk your ego in relationships that challenge ingrained fears and self-doubt, or test your vulnerability and integrity, personal evolution never happens. Ego blocks the possibility of experiencing the kind of love you want and deserve.
What are your biggest relationship fears? Where do those fears come from? What triggers those fears? How can you turn those experiences into lessons so that you can finally welcome the love you want and deserve?
And tell all your single sista-friends about it!