- When the going gets tough, do you freeze with fear and indecision?
- Do you feel like there's always a dark cloud following you?
- In the midst of emotional confusion, which usually wins: intuition or fear-based choices?
- Do you usually play it safe or chase your dreams?
When the going gets tough, I brood. When I'm in the midst of heartbreak, stuck in a difficult situation, or need to make a big life choice, I "hold my breath" as thoughts recklessly zoom around my head and end in massive collision. And there I'm left, paralyzed with confusion. Not to mention, a deep sense of self-doubt, frustration, and indecision. There's no movement, no flow, no trust; just stagnation. But that's what happens when you feel the need to control and manipulate every outcome in your life. Or when you expect the worst so you try to jump ahead of the train wreck and avert danger to your ego. You lose all connection to your intuition because you're so desperate for a solution - for the confusion to be over. So you make rash and/or pragmatic decisions just so it feels like you're in control and moving forward with your life, even if that choice defies your gut.
My intuitive self knows that it's better to breathe through the confusing emotions and recognize that whatever painful situation I'm going through is not permanent. Yes, it'll pass unless I choose to hang onto it. I also know from experience that brooding (holding my breath) is like cutting off oxygen to my brain, choking out any possibility for coherent thought. Brooding is full of speculation and hypothetical stories that I interpret as truth. It's lack of effective communication but full of assumptions about what other people are thinking, saying, or doing. It's an infusion of self-doubt that inhibits me from making choices in alignment with what I really want or need to feel happy, abundant, and fulfilled. It's choices based in fear. It's a missed opportunity because, rather than viewing it as gift, I perceive it as a set-up for more loss or failure. When I "hold my breath" I can't give life to possibility.
My intuitive self reminds me to be still, let my uncomfortable emotions flow, trust that clarity will come, that I deserve great things in my life, and that I have the power to manifest them. But damn that's hard when you're a thinker, a problem solver, and hate uncertainty. But I'm constantly learning and practicing to breathe through the confusion via self-expression. Breathing is pouring my thoughts into my journal or literally moving the confusion out of my body through dance/movement expression. It's nurturing my body, mind, and spirit by doing things that bring me pleasure instead of being caged in my own thoughts. It's relying on the listening ears and support of my community of sista-friends who can tolerate my crazy, incoherent thoughts without judging me. It's paying attention to the deeper truths speaking inside of me rather than the mental chatter that breeds confusion.
In which area/s of your life are you currently experiencing emotional confusion? Describe what you want versus your current reality. How can you mentally reframe your current situation and see it as a learning/growth opportunity? If it's a situation that can't be changed immediately, how do you choose to breathe through it?
And tell all your single sista-friends about it!