- Do you feel like you're struggling through life all alone & without support?
- Do trust issues prevent you from experiencing love?
- Would you consider yourself vulnerable or defensive?
- Do your friends know the authentic you or just your persona?
One of my greatest post-divorce realizations was that - I am not alone. In the beginning I isolated myself and became fiercely independent because I had trust issues and didn't want anyone's help or pity. Besides, to accept support only compounded my feelings of failure. So I hung onto my anger and resentment and subconsciously set out to prove what an amazeballs human being I was; smart, capable, resilient and thus lovable. But as a result, most of my choices were impulsive, emotional reactions based in fear rather than confident decisions grounded in intuition and trust.
Something I've learned through my healing process, though, and one of the gifts of getting older, is how life experience eventually chisels away at ego and expectation and starts to reveal your inner-wisdom. It also teaches you the value of trusting your inner wisdom even though it's not always easy; like, when faced with decisions that could significantly change the trajectory of your life. The kind of decisions where you're precariously balanced on a fence, completely cognizant of the fact that, to leap to either side, is to hurl your fate into the unknown where you'll have to trust your ability to land on your feet rather than your ass - again. And although tortuous, it feels easier in the moment to linger in indecision than to make a choice that you'll later have to be accountable for. It's here that your inner-wisdom, your truth, and your innate intuition gets muddled with emotion and negative mental chatter making clarity feel elusive. And it's here that one tends to feel - alone.
But as I continue to unsheathe my inner-wisdom from my ego, the more vulnerable I become; willing to let people witness the messy parts of my life, while humbly accepting support when I need it. It also helps me recognize the people who genuinely support me when I feel stuck in that mess, rather than surrounding myself with those who magnify my fears and insecurities or take advantage of my vulnerability. My tribe always shows me love by steering me toward my truth.
My inner-wisdom reminds me that, while our individual journeys might be different, we are unified by the same human experience and we actually need one another. We're all facing the same big life questions. We're all experiencing the trial and error of making big life choices. And we're all daring to build relationships that might "fail", evolve, or end without closure. But we are never alone as long as we humble our egos, open our hearts, and let love in.
Which relationships or life experiences have built up emotional walls around you? How does it feel to exist behind the confines of those walls? What steps are you taking to break down those emotional barriers, live vulnerably, and allow love into your life?
And tell all your single sista-friends!