Turn Ons: What didn’t turn me on?
Turn Offs: It left me with the female equivalent of blue balls!
Rate My Date:
- Not My Type
- 1 Night Stand
- In Love
Happily Ever After
I had just enjoyed a cocktail at Blue Smoke which I thought would be the perfect foreplay for popping my cherry at the Museum of Sex. But I hadn’t even made my way through the museum boutique before my heart started racing and my palms started to sweat. There I was all alone; hot and bothered amongst a sea of couples engaged in PDA. I feigned nonchalant as I perused exhibits of all kinds of in-your-face sex; from Picasso pencil drawings to on-screen scenes of blow jobs and penetration with full audio! Who was I kidding? Arousal was inevitable. This wasn't an intellectual experience about the history of sex, desire, erotica, taboo and porn. It was a multi-sensory reminder that I was single and horny! And visceral proof of my innate need and natural desire for unrestrained carnal pleasure!
Who knew I could be so turned on by an art installation of fucking robots? Or girl-on-girl photos from the 1930s before bikini waxes were popularized? Or anime? Or explicit comic strips? Or a masturbating Homer Simpson? It was an odyssey of sheer voyeuristic pleasure!
Needless to say, I left the Museum of Sex feeling teased and tormented; reminiscing about the times when sex was more than mere fantasy or a solo act. So I headed downstairs to the museum's underground bar, Oral Fix, to cool off with one of their aphrodisiac “potions”.
233 5th Avenue at E27th Street New York, NY 10016
Getting There By Subway:
- R to 28th Street
- 6 to 28th Street
- 1 to 28th Street