Turn-Ons: I fell in love with stillness.
Turn-Offs: The battle between my mind's need to feel productive & my body's need for stillness.
Rate My Date:
- Not My Type
- 1 Night Stand
- In Love
Happily Ever After
I’d already lived on this picturesque, private hotel resort island for a whole month before even dipping my body into ocean. Crazy, I know! I even taught Pilates classes on the beach every Friday, instructing guests to roll up through their spines, gaze across the ocean and absorb the sea breeze before rolling back to the grounding support of the sand. I’d watch those same guests plunge into the water after class, while I washed the sand off my feet and returned home to the Staff Village. But not before taking postcard-worthy photos of the ocean which I’d later plaster across Facebook, genuinely excited about my new "Teach, Write, Love" adventure.
For some reason, I still hadn’t allowed myself to fully experience the pleasure of my choice to uproot from the concrete jungle and move to an exclusive island in Turks & Caicos, accessible only to resort guests; known for its privacy, and awarded for its Spa and pristine beaches. I was too busy. At least, that was the excuse I was used to blurting out while living in NYC when I really was "too busy" that simply finding time to relax felt exhausting. I was apparently still clinging to “survival mode” mentality even though my reality allowed me hours of free time. The type of free time I thought only existed in fairy tales, but certainly not in NYC when you’re a single female entrepreneur. But here, I was an employee, working on-call as the island’s only Pilates/Fitness Instructor six days/week from 9am-9pm. But it was slow season. So slow in fact that, some days, I worked one mere hour. For a NYC hustler that sadly glorifies “busy”, that kind of free time riddled me with guilt. How did I possibly deserve a day at the beach?
But I did it. Reluctantly. I pedaled my bike through the sweetly scented air with the warm breeze pushing the curls off my face. In less than five minutes this neophyte to the art of relaxation had laid her towel in the sand and walked to the water’s edge in her brightly colored bikini. It was crystal clear and shallow; cooler than the air but warm enough to submerge myself right away. I stood with the water kissing my neck and undulating around my body until I fully surrendered, feeling weightless. I let the ocean lull me into a trance where I only saw shades of blue and green and the voluminous white clouds that morphed in slow motion as the gentle waves hushed everything around me. I was present in my bliss until the moment I became consciously aware of it. It was like the rude awakening of my alarm clock just as I had entered the yummiest part of my dreams. My mind told me I’d been lazy long enough. That I should go do something "productive".
For the first time I ignored my mind and followed my bliss, experiencing the pleasure of stillness for the first time.