Pg 1: My Life in 360

I remember sitting in an off-beat coffee shop/bar on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.  It was a funky little dive where you had the option of coffee and vegan cupcakes OR live alternative music and beer until 4am.  Only in NY. And there I sat amongst a crowd that I didn’t exactly fit into.  They all appeared to be twenty-something aspiring musicians or artists; complete with their own “individual” style that tended toward a variation of edgy black clothing, tattoos and piercings.  And, despite the blaring tunes I’d NEVER heard before (nor did I like), I felt more at home there than I did sitting in any Los Angeles Starbucks for the past 6 years of my life.  Directly across the street from the coffee shop was my new home; a completely un-renovated railroad-style apartment.  Oh, “railroad” = “no privacy”. My roommates (also 2 of my closest friends) had to walk through my “bedroom” (and I use that term loosely) to get to the kitchen (or the bathtub which was located in the kitchen; conveniently at an arm’s reach away from the stove or fridge).  Like I said -- no privacy.  But, I felt just as comfortable there as I did in my 1400 square foot town-home with 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, and a kitchen designated strictly for cooking and eating.  Oh, except for the occasional, spontaneous romp on the countertop with my husband.  Well, my future ex-husband.  He was still in said Los Angeles town-home awaiting its sale with our Boston Terrier/dog-child, Brooklyn; named after the borough in which we met and fell madly in love.

I sat in that off-beat coffee shop/bar 3,000 miles away trying to re-define myself.  Who was I without my ex?  Who was I as a newly single 38 year old woman?  What happened to us anyway?  How did our beautiful, loving, open and honest marriage end in (GULP!)... I can’t even say the damn word!  How did our marriage end in that damn “D” word?  DIVORCE!!!  There, I said it.

Comments

[katcha]

You and I both in a way mimic each other's experience except that happened to me six years ago and to this day I occasionally still ask myself how did it end into the D word? Although, when you dig to the bottom of your heart and mind and ditch the denial stage, somehow we know why but helpless to prevent it from happening. I can totally relate with you being at home in NYC rather than waking up at 4:30am in San Francisco 5 days a week from Monday to Friday, be at work before 6:30am before the market opens, and I did that for four years.
I know this sounds so cliché, but it gets better in time. A big hug to you.